RAMBLING 26

According to my doctors it wasn't anything too dramatic. A little, just a little, internal bleeding. Over the course of a few weeks I became increasingly anemic until my doctor suggested I make a rapid visit to the local hospital for a transfusion.

But despite all of the exhaustion the one thing that amazes me and that I can't seem to shake my affection for a certain little boy. With all that's going on, his gummy smile is enough to force me to battle against the exhaustion and make it through yet another day.

Currently I am getting better but there is still a way to go. According to the doctors recovering from anemia is more a matter of months than weeks so it'll probably still be some time before I get my act together.

Don't stress though. I will be back. A lot has happened and 99 per cent of it has been good. My little boy has changed so much from the

Enough of the rant. I'm off to bed.

For now, it's

Goodnight.

Hopefully I'll be back soon and I'll be able to put all of my experiences into some sort of order.

I

just pray that all of these memories don't slip away.

Keeping tOOleS up to date is difficult at the best of times and right now it just isn't a priority.

Little boy tops that list.

My Tom comes in a very close second.

Not that it's a competition. Right now I just can't seem to find where one day begins and the other ends. They're all merging together.

Only little boy isn't the reason for that. I'm grappling for some time to myself and it appears that with how busy the day is, the late nights are the only time I have to myself. Unfortunately being exhausted doesn't allow for clarity of thought.

Perhaps I should stop putting so much pressure on myself.

Question all the expectations that others have heaped upon my shoulders.

Resist the temptation to judge myself too harshly.

Some things are easier said than done.

Try silencing the voices of a dozen generations coursing through your veins.

Understand that everyone means well but that when it come down to it, every child is different and every way of reacting to them differs too. Little boy, for example, is

very fond of staying awake all day but lucky for me he chooses to sleep through the night at only eight weeks.

We'll just have to wait and see what happens.

X-rays, stitches, injections. All of these things are in the future. He will break bones and scrape his knee but I can't be burdening myself with those worries now. We have

years in which to experience all these worries. For now, I need to get myself healthy. Otherwise it'll be impossible for me to cope with what's to come. Anyhow, off to bed for some well earned

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.